Removing the Suicide Command

[Beulamary]

An attempted suicide can be such a shock to the thinking and Brain C-13 Review emotional system that a natural emotional numbing often occurs. The conscious and unconscious minds combine to block access to each other to prevent the overall experience re-surfacing. This is a useful reaction to have in the short term if it protects us long enough for us to transition to a safer environment. In the long term it can prevent us from getting emotional trauma out of our bodies and the pain that drove the attempt can be in place for years afterwards. If not accepted and released we can be left in a state of traumatic shock; a sense of wrongness goes on to affect the way we interpret all of our emotional responses from that point on.

This results in emotional blocking. Over time we may forget the specific details that led to the attempt and stamp a superficial, usually self-critical spin on the experience so we do not have to go into our bodies to re-experience, release and analyse it fully. It seems far easier to just blame ourselves than to accept the real external issues causing the pain. The fact is our initial painful responses will be perfectly normal reactions to a painful environment which maybe we needed to deal with or leave, but for whatever reason did not want or know how to.

There is a risk involved in opening up this old wound though because what you are protecting yourself against is what I refer to as The Suicide Command. This command is a powerful emotional response attached to a buried belief that says something along the lines of I cannot live with this or I cannot live without that. This belief is so strong and the emotional response so powerful that it creates a delusional bubble that lives inside of us until we go into ourselves and pop it; releasing it for the false delusion it is.

Even years afterwards, when our life is now much happier and we know we should be at peace inside, this mini-horror story can still be threatening to us. By thinking about the attempt in the right way and getting the support we need we can bring ourselves to a point where we feel safe in fully contacting with the impulses we initially experienced and then simultaneously release both the emotional pain attached and acknowledge and remove the beliefs that created and kept the traumatised response in place.

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